The Reason We Don't Hang Out Anymore

A friend and I met for a drink, a really long time ago. We hadn't seen each other in months, really. Why don't we ever hang out anymore? I reminded her that she had told me that I talked too much about race, racism and "social things" too much. That I complained too much and walked out of places without warning. 

Oh, well, that's in the past now, isn't it? Besides, is racism really a thing in 2016? I mean, now that we've got Obama and everything?

I felt as though I were in one of those uplifting videos where I'm supposed to whip out a snazzy video montage while explaining a Very Important Subject, by the end of which we'll both laugh and cry and be better people for it. Umm, not going to happen. 

I looked at this Non-Person of Color and shook my head in disbelief. So, my former friend took this as a sign to continue their line of questioning. This person says to me that I talk about racism quite often. I use to see racism all the time, almost everywhere. 

Well friend, that's because racism happens to me and around me all the time, almost everywhere. There are lots of amazing websites, writers and bloggers who devote themselves to this particular subject. You've got Google.

Here, I'll help you get started:

Huffington Post - Racism in America

The Guardian -America isn't more racist. It's just shouting it instead of whispering

Racism and Racial Conflict in America

My former friend says she doesn't do political reading. Plus, what does that have to do with the two of us?

I tell her I've been with you and had a racist experience happen to me. My friend is shocked and appalled. When? Where? How?

Racism is not just huge events, like burning crosses, thrown stones, or people screaming the N-word. It is a million tiny little things flying at you all the time. Tiny bites and stings coming at you from all sides. 

When the waitress wouldn't take my order and you had to repeat it to her. That's racism.

When my soda is half as full as yours and my pancakes are burnt. That's racism.

When she slammed my plate down on the table, yet placed yours in front of you. That's racism. 

Oh no, silly, she was just a terrible waitress. 

When we go shopping and I need TWO forms of ID to use my credit card, but you didn't have to show anything. 

They do spot security checks, that's all. It's random.

When the women in the store said they would die if they had big thighs like mine and you told me not to cause a scene. 

I didn't hear what they actually said. It's in the past. We'll never see those people again.

When the police officer questioned me for nearly ten minutes before finally telling me that I should get home and I was standing in my own front yard. In the middle of the afternoon. 

He was just doing his job. I'm sure he had a good reason. 

When I tell you that I'm not comfortable in this restaurant with all Anglo patrons, yet you insist we eat there. 

The pancakes are really good! I go there all the time. It's a cool place.

When people sneer or stare at me with disdain or flat-out hatred in their eyes. When the men say, look at that ass. They all have asses like that. And their wives and girlfriends call me slut and trash under their breath.

Just ignore them. We don't know them. Just ignore them.

When you have perfectly reasonable excuses for every instance of racism that I mention.

What?!

That's why we don't hang out anymore. 

I have to live with the idea of being judged, monitored, questioned and scrutinized every single day. I'm a sex object or a servant or an animal in the eyes and minds of those we encounter. I have to live with the possibility that someone may try to hurt me, tamper with my food or go out of their way to make me feel dirty, unwelcome and unworthy. 

This fight is hard enough without a well-meaning friend undervaluing my feelings or concerns. 

Ignoring the hate, the sneers, the jokes and jabs is not something I am willing to do anymore I will stand up for myself and say no, I am NOT a sex object. I am NOT a servant. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL.  I need a friend who is willing to stand by me. I need a friend who is willing to stand up and say, no this is wrong. I need a friend who is willing to give up their goddamn pancakes when my safety and sense of well-being are on the line. 

That's why we don't hang out anymore. 

Enjoy your pancakes. 

Sizewise: Hercules Patient Repositioner

I wrote about Rey Zavala and the Sizewise team way back in 2012. Well, Rey and the Sizewise team have continued to give excellent and consistent service to the San Antonio medical community that serves Bexar County and the surrounding areas. 

Sizewise has produced some amazing products that serves the needs of critical and acute care patients, as well as, homecare patients and people that just need a better night's sleep. I am definitely included in that last group. I live with Dermatomyositis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Insomnia. What a trifecta! I have very specific sleep needs and my Sizewise Non-Powered System mattress has 24 cushy, yet supportive cylinders that allow me to have a better night's sleep, so I am able to get through the day. Even without all the bells and whistles, it still delivers! Thanks, Sizewise! 

The exceptional team at Sizewise have introduced a new piece of technology that looks incredible and helps patients be more safe and comfortable in the hospital. One major issue while recovering from surgery is that over time, you slide down in the bed at some point and you need to reposition yourself. Depending on your injury or surgery site, you're going to need some help. So, depending on your size, you're going to have 1 or more caregivers come into your room and help you reposition yourself in the bed. 

The Hercules Patient Repositioner allows a single caregiver to reposition a patient safely in their bed. Ok, so what does that mean? On average, it will take 4 caregivers to move a bariatric patient that was over 500 lbs. A patient would require repositioning up to 11 times per day. Repositioning can also take up to 10 minutes, where the caregiver has assessed the situation and manually pulled the patient up in the bed. Wow! 

Let's turn to the Sizewise literature for more information! "The Hercules Repositioning System allows a single caregiver to safely position a bariatric patient up in a bed with dignity and comfort in a matter of seconds with the simple push of a button. " Basically, one caregiver takes an average of 1.7 minutes to reposition a patient safely. 

The Hercules Repositioning System sounds like a dream come true. Luckily, I haven't had to stay in the hospital long-term quite a few years, I do feel better knowing that there is better technology available that will ensure my safety and dignity if I do have to go back. 

There is a ton of great information on the Sizewise website and I highly recommend that you check it out!  Sizewise Official Site

Also, here's the link to my original blog about another great Sizewise product, The Navigator:

The Navigator

It's Daytime. I'm Awake. It's Awful.

I wake up to the sounds of barking, chirping, loud neighbors cackling and weed-wacking and a radio that needs to be killed.

It's daytime. It's awful.

Kids arguing, cat jammed under the bed, man bouncing the dog on the couch like a much loved toy.

It's daytime. It's awful.

My bedroom is hot enough to bake biscuits. Not the fluffy kind with butter. No, the hard angry kind, the kind that choke you.

It's daytime. In the summer. It's awful

It's Been Too Long...

Well, the subject heading says it all. I've been staring at the computer screen wondering what I should write about, if I can write anything of any value, blah, blah, blah. I've struggled with Writer's Block, Depression, Chronic Pain and family obligations. All of those things conspired against me and choked all the writerly impulses out of my sad, little body. I realized one night that if I didn't start writing again, I just might not be able to in the future. I have to start writing again, even if it's bad or worse, pedestrian, it's still a place to start. 

Writer's Rehab 
My thoughts have been chaotic, without any true focus, I have a novel full of characters in peril and they've been that way for a while. I don't have a way out for them and the ideas I once had for them are lost. How do I get back on track?

I have a couple problems to tackle so I can get back to my old writer-y self, no, to a better writer-y self. One, I am depressed as hell and struggling with it. Two, I need some new experiences, some new inspirations. 

I beg your indulgence, dear reader, while I work my way back to land of Writerliness. 

Yes, I Am Still Alive...

Thank you dear readers, all five of you, for your concern. I have been feeling quite ill lately and haven't been able to post.  W3 will be back with new content soon! Until then I leave you with a new playlist and a new meditation. Cheers!

Down But Not Out Playlist

1. I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues - Elton John
2. Settle Down - Kimbra
3. Look Me in the Heart - Tina Turner
4. Superstar/Until You Come Back to Me - Luther Vandross
5. I'm Still Standing - Elton John
6. Call Me - Kimbra
7. Somebody Like You - Keith Urban
8. If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix
9. A Face to Call Home - John Mayer
10. I Say A Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin

A mantra to repeat at the start of the day:

I'm still here. I'm still trying. I will make a difference.

Cha-Cha Ching!!

Tonight I attended a fun retirement celebration for a lovely lady named Carmen. Cha-Cha's on Babcock is one of my favorite spots to eat in S.A. The staff are always awesome, every single time. Everyone had an awesome time chowing down on flautas, fajitas and enchiladas. A great time was had by all, while taking pictures, and reconnecting with co-workers and friends.

Chocolate Cake!

A better shot of the decor without all the pesky people in the shot.

Shot of the super-yummy-awesome food!! The margaritas are insanely good.

Go, have fun and maybe Alex, one of the owners, will give you a "blessing"! Trust me, it's a good thing.

Favorite Things of the Day

For reasons I can't quite explain the breast cancer fighting pepper spray display caused me to collapse into

paroxysms  of laughter. Ladies are going to protect their boobies one way or the other!!

I find myself playing Castleville constantly. Right now, Zynga.com is allowing people to share gifts with everyone. I have made friends with the world in the last week. There's is nothing quite like receiving help requests in French, Spanish and Arabic. Thanks, Zynga! You rock!